I'm reading Job 16 today. Not for any particular reason; it's just where I am in this specific Bible reading front to back.

Interestingly, Job said in verse seven, "You have worn me out, God," and that's how I feel today. I totes get that these tests are for my great - eventually - but this mess hurts. And this is week five or six of test after test.

I trust God completely, but I'm also telling Him how badly this hurts. I'm moving forward, and at the same time reminding Him that it's painful so He can stop any time now. I'm going to obey if He gives instructions, but I'm also asking for earthly rewards and not only heavenly ones. I'm continuing to pray several hours a day, and believing something fantastic will happen for me even though all I see in the natural are top to bottom bruises from running into walls and having several doors slammed in my face.

I don't understand what God's doing, but I trust Him. And I have to say at this point in my life, anyone who says they understand God is lying through their teeth. Much of this pain just doesn't make sense ... except that God has a Kingdom purpose being fulfilled. So when whatever's coming breaks, I guess I'll be thankful I was able to participate, but for right now ... it just hurts.

I bless you in Yeshua's Name and pray that your seasons of pain bring multiplied fruit in your lifetime and beyond.

© 2018 Zari Banks, M.Ed